Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The air taste purple.
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