i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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