Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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