her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
tell me about the fingering
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