I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Shitshow foam night was such a success
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
