Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
