I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
