If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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