i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
