Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
