She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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