Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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