Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
