She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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