I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
