I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
