YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
