hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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