I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
