I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
