You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
