Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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