Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
