Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
