Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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