You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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