So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
