Do you still have your period?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
