Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
