I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
