I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
