yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
