i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
