haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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