is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
