I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.