She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.