what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize