I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The adults are the big ones right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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