return my video game
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
