His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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