awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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