help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
