Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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