i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize