Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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