so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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