Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
