I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
