he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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