Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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