if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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