hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
