I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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