some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
