i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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