And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
