A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
pray to the hookup gods
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
