I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
