i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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