So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize