Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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